BENEATH ME

Separated at entrance

The birth departed
And raced up from my tailbone
to the top most tip

And out like smoke.

I forgot you,
Forever, afterall. 
That’s how it felt.
How it seemed.

Until I waded in a pond
As a full grown woman
And my feet saw the reflection
Of the blue heart 
Vibrating, pulsating
The mirrored waters

And you ran up into my veins
There.

And settled up into my spine
There. 

Again. Forever, afterall,
You stayed with me.

The children rubbed on you
And lay their soft skulls against you
As we read books and
Told stories.

You spread thick
Like a paste full of 
Ash and liquid rock

 And smooth marble

 And rolled through us 
Like an apple 
Breaking from branch.

Ready. Gather up. Eat. Eaten.

And we sometimes entered into
Behind doors of 
Schools and 

 Cars

And said yes to long linear roads
That led to nowhere-conversations 
And nothing-feelings.

Until you pushed up 
Through my spine again
Like a virus

And gathered the children 
In my arms, like nectar, 

In my heart-center

And we joined you and 
That once departed-birth

For a final ride in the basket of a 
Transparent balloon

Moving swift and silent
To the center of 
It all. 

And the nothingness 
Became you and them 
And their tired eyes and feet

And I woke in the pond
seeing blue painted on 
My toes.

The water pooling blue blood 
All around me. 

And I saw how everything 
Is alive and never-dying.

And I smiled to know you and the children
And the red and blue of 
Joy beneath me.

stephanie lorentzen-jordan

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