WHOLE

In my time

I realized it wasn't about me.

It was about something

That was neither me

Nor you.

I went to a party.

Calm was streaming

Like the flow of a river,

The current, even.

But, the river was also

Pinched at the sides.

Being held in,

Restricted by its shores.

I went out.

Left this collective consciousness.

Took a deep breath

And felt myself lifted

Back up to where you are.

I didn't notice this tension

Until I walked away from it.

The moon was shining,

The clouds were drifting.

It was then I realized

That you were there all along.

It was then I began to know

The reason for my tension.

You had been left there at the door.

I had dropped your hand

And decided to go solo.

I was unguarded,

Like a warrior without his sword.

Like an infant without nurture.

Masked.

I willfully put on this mask.

The people,

They see something like themselves.

How does one feel nothing out of something?

I had felt nothing out of something.

Out of substance and matter

I felt nothing.

Because I was lost in a

Wave of ego mindedness,

I forgot your essence

Which is my essesnce

And their essence.

I feel again whole

When I remember this.

Stephanie Lorentzen-Jordan